Friday, December 19, 2003
life allows us wif many choices but i supposed i am one big unwilling to share person.
i dun wanna say tis but yeah i admit that i am the kinda person who doesnt wish to tok abt the past. be it how embarassing it is. thus it says alot abt me being mysterious but i always hide it wif my laughters.

choices like how to choose the right IS modules oh my god its such a mess last minute my fren wanna change her mind abt which timeslots to take but hooo too bad all takened up and yeah i got an indian teacher for IS LIFE SCIENCE ohh damn shit can. hahaha my whole timetable destroyed by an indian name there. siannnnz.

been meeting him for soooooo many days in the hols till i got soooo sick of it today i just blew up like "WHYYYY THE HELL DO WE DO THE SAME THINGS ALL THE TIME" aiyahhh its PMS.... hahahha GUESS its due to the fact that i havent been able to catch that french flick "love me if u dare" for like soooo many times always sold out.... humph angryyy GRR. infernal affairs damn nice. go watch ALL of it. and OOPS hes not my BF. hahaha.

how many of u actually LOVE UR FACE? hahaha i cant help it but sometimes do u like smiling at the mirror? OOh i haf been doing that often tell me am i sick. HELP me god save me i am fat. i tink i am FAT. yesh i am lahz huh. PRATAs, PASTA, ICECREAM, CHOCOLATE, MEE SIAM, LAKSA, CHAR KUAY TEOW have became my daily cravings everydayyyyyyy.

i hateeeeeeee my parents and everybody who's been strict abt my curfew. but what to do. shoot them? hahahahahaha! okayyyy. no lah just resigned to fate.
neigra at 7:24 AM

Wednesday, December 03, 2003
i should not have gotten fever on the day before my OOP. arghh else i would have done so much better. ARGHHHH got too COMPLACeNT lah.
overall the results were passable but looks like shit to me. wad can u expect frm As that doesnt have +... and 1 C that doesnt have a + at the back of it too. i nid the cross so often eh. hahh. my surname goes well wif my grades. have like 4Bs... consoling factor is 1 distinction for management. haiz wad a waste that im nt in business eh. 3As,4Bs,1C. no improvement made frm last sem lor. OOP can realli do much better i just knew it. fuck wads the point in wishy washy abt it lah. Stupidddddd me.
nxt sem i will work harder. and i mean much harder man.

life was hectic, constantly on the move to mit frens. somehow happiness does not lasts long in me. not that i am upset or feeling miserable but yeah thats the particular time when u feel something is missing. but nonetheless i don't get that in me. i have like so many gazillion things to do so i seldom blog. u tink life's better always moving so fast around and revolving abt doing nothing wif people? i think my life is bearable. but not nice to live in. some might call it showered wif attention by frens but ahhh i haf no comments abt that. its a commentless life! ahhhh i geddit. not boring. cos im not pathetically stoning.

hah at least i noe the books can be dumped into the storeroom now. i feel so ACK for my o's english now. retook it this yr remember. and that's oso when i had fever. wah lao better not fail else i tink my england realli PCK's standard already.

im still bingeing on my diet and i hoped to stop that from NOW. hah. pple around me lah. constantly on the move to find and eat FOOD. sigh. must have the power to control myself. *prays*

just got into aromatheraphy. very good the smell of lavender realli helps to promote slp. i slept like a baby last nite. a first in many years. hah. body shop sucks my bank dry i tell u. no more entering that shop for 500 days.

wonder if brudder miah is back from his mission trip ah? if he is readin this, HI BRO! cant wait to catch up wif ya when im back online!

Attention: my PC is DEAD again. motherboard and CPU died on me. thus, 400 bucks to repairman again. sigh. i haf a god damn brand new PC when it comes back to me. trust that it doesnt die on me for another gd ol six mths later.


neigra at 6:37 PM

Monday, November 17, 2003
exams over!!!!! yee hah my bday just went past lah, its a long time event of celebrations... and so today im like FREE? spurge a little on myself lah, went to pig out on ruffles.. sigh gonna get sore throat and intake more fat but who cares i nid to indulge a little during hols rite? =] ooh yes i am such a lousy drinker drank like half the magarita and im like "seh" ? that happened when i was with my best galfrens celebrating at hard rock cafe. boy i tell u the bill was not veri pretty lah. hahah.

now i've dumped all the textbooks FAR FAR away frm meee!~ and CLEO is my current textbook. hah.... bimbooo. my ass and whole body still ached frm da day i went gym. hah gained 1kg already. SEeeee what i have done. boo. dun worry im not OVERWEIGHT but i still feel "ACK".

Was watching this korean drama series that i bought today. actually its currently on channel U every sat nite at 11pm but i cant stand the suspense lah im like so darn hooked by the storyline. heh. the guy's pretty cute too. the main lead the rich and wear specs 1. aniwae, i kinda feel like i relate towards that show lah. like my best fren, though i love her alot, she somehow overshadows me.. and especially when i was in sec sch wif her it didn't matter that much but yeah sometimes i tink abt it and true, every guy were get so besotted by her or tink she's the angel kinda thing. okay, like duh who doesnt make judgements and comparisons.. Guess i've already gotten used to it.. Thus sometimes whenever i've gt any romantic involvements i normally make sure they noe my best fren and actually not like her? I dun wanna get all drama mama but yeah, just in case they do fall in love wif her i might nt be hurt eventually. cos such guys are definately worth not to be given attention to. not like i've experienced it before but yeah, at least i could make the right choice and all.

What am i saying man... I dun need a man. Women and competition often is the barrier towards a better communication and all. Looks, character and figure alamak always kena compared all the bloody time, especially women do that. Tell me what's the use of having model competitions? proves the fact that nobody flips the book to noe what u contain inside. Say, if there's an ugly man and a handsome man being accused of killing someone, and both insisted that they didn't do it, who would u believe? more pple will be supporting the handsome man. The case of cosmetic surgery and liposuction are like sooo darn popular, whats the reason for it eh? Obviously the bloody phrase "looks matter" do apply in life.
and i dun mean in events only, it is needed everytime, everywhere.

Nonetheless, i still do love my best fren. like frenship is always more important than a guy. Who gives u tissues when u were heartbroken eh? Who patiently listens to u when u start a whole list of bad points abt that ex of urs? Sod that guy! I don't noe but sometimes it feels darn comfortable to be best frens wif a guy. except the troubles of men cannot relate to them lah. god i so nid a gay fren now. hee.

All i have to say is probably i should start appreciating myself more. Maybe i am just feeling insecure about who i am and how i look. Don't say dun care abt what others tink, because somehow nobody can just ignore the idea that pple will definately judge u. We are human beings wif a brain which functions like "oh here's someone, ooh, shes ugly. " or "ooh shes so chio!". Oh dear, is it me being too cynical of pple?

neigra at 1:42 AM

Saturday, October 25, 2003
talk things out wif him. he somehow got a better idea now.
hopefully i still haf him as my close fren.
hate to be in this kind of tao hua yun.
not at this period aniwae. like i nid it when i haf to concentrate on the exams.

nxt wk shall be mugging period for me. so i'll be in hiatus.
also gonna bring him to crash np to study.
life is too short to tink of all these.
matters of the heart should come into place when im older.

being the rational me i shall list my priorities. make money, doing myself proud, love family, care for frens.


neigra at 11:22 PM

Monday, October 20, 2003
haiyo at this hour why am i up? because my dear leader is nt a ADSL modem ass but a 56K person who is sending me 55MB of stuff which is taking 2 and half hrs.

nice.... and now im stoning online. shall get new skin! blogging is fun when u haf new look for ur blog. heh.

i suddenly haf turned into a nerd or somethin. or rather someone who is completely void of feelings. like today when i was travelling to sch,( yes brudder miah u gonna say travelling to sch realli can tink alot eh..) i suddenly haf this feeling made out to me "I don't nid a man, i dun like anybody".. is this like some sort of a call out to me that i shouldn't drag our "unwell" relationship and call it quits?

actually i cant be bothered to do anything abt it but yah i've been shunning myself away from him. its not a break up and theres nothing to declare. im sure i noe we're frens and i shuld start to make it more clear and defined for him.
neigra at 10:16 AM

Thursday, October 16, 2003
wah siao liao tmr jap writing test and im still here! someone just kick the hell of my ass outta here man. seriously i tink today was good becos the damn teacher of mine fell sick and she couldn't turn up for cls! and only when i reach the cls did someone walk in and announced "im sorry but miss vivien is sick theres no cls for today". and everyone was groaning but secretly a part of me was happy becos i didn't haf to whack my brains today. haha. Thanks to her i came to sch for nothing and had a silly project discussion whereby we only arranged to do which parts.. so much for trying to GET answers from other pple. hahaha.

Friendster is quite fun especially when u get to find those IJ pri sch mates that i've nt seen for ages. Not for finding potential mates i tell u. hah sometimes i was hallucinating and i wonder wad the hell am i gonna react if i saw that damn arsehole EX of mine. hah.

im a pig i slept for 3 hrs the minute i got home. whats wrong wif me i recently feel ache in the bones and blue black that doesnt seem to go off im gettin kinda worried wif my health sometimes. It must be due to watching that movie " A time for dancing" which features on a gal who got cancer at 18. so sad. moreover i am gettin breathless easily and my stomach aint its usual self sometimes bloated sometimes hungry and ahh i feel like slping all the time at this period i am always afraid that somethin bad might happen to me.

boo hoo i mean i havent did alot of stuff. actually i dun see wads the point in breathing now so why go into it at the moment. - peace out -
neigra at 3:57 AM

Wednesday, October 15, 2003
yay its currently up and running but yah i do haf a pathetic number of frens who r bloggers. haha
neigra at 5:17 AM

now added links and tagboard. so much more humane. i need to add pple!
neigra at 4:42 AM

a new background now!
neigra at 4:21 AM

ah-ha. got it this time round. hi blog. hi pple. i'll be improving this further.
neigra at 4:05 AM